ac/dc

marchin on

2012-02-11T00:33:00.000-07:00

a song I recently heard, though I believe it is a year or two old. I can't get enough.

the beat, the lyrics (seriously, I love them), the video. I would like to take drum lessons now, thanks. I'd also see onerepublic in concert again. they were fabulous.

I think this song just fits into my life (or fits my life). what do you think of it?

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave.
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim

We'll have the days we break,
And we'll have the scars to prove it.
We'll have the bonds that we save,
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that
We're marching on

the world spins madly on

2012-02-09T13:46:00.000-07:00

Last night I think I was awake for at least an hour longer than when we went to bed because all I could think about was those few days. I replayed every second over and over in my head and I couldn't stop. My life is pretty simple these days: I wish every second of every day that we still had our baby (we both do). It almost never goes away. And no, I'm not like crazy with grief and I think if you didn't know, you wouldn't know, but sometimes I feel like it just crushes me.

And I want to say things that I shouldn't to people, but I don't think I'll ever say all that I think. I don't want to be rude or drag people down into my own grief, jealousy and anger. Because I know that isn't fair. So I think them instead and hope that they won't always be bitter thoughts. Because I know I can't blame people for living their own life. I don't want people to be weird around me or feel like they can't talk about things.

But fair? What is even fair anymore? And who cares, really?

And sometimes I feel so alone in this that I think I will die. But I have not died from it:

That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had his hand in this,

as well as friends

(from this poem)

I am grateful for friends who have kept me from collapsing from the weight of it all. And to God, who I think understands when I'm so mad at everything (at times including God) I think I will just die. But then I don't.

Katie shared this scripture eight weeks ago (yep, another tally) when her family was going through a tragedy of their own. And I've memorized it and it's become a close friend, if you will.

Romans 8: "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor

depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

hyacinths

2012-02-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

I mentioned earlier that we received a little bulb planter and they bloomed! I didn't know what kind of flowers they were nor that they would bloom so fast. But a few days later I walk into our study and hey! hyacinths (NOT lilacs*, like I thought) I was pleasantly surprised. They smell wonderful and it's kind of funny because they are too heavy for their stems and they lean over a bit.

thank you, whoever you are, again!

*my sister in law is an expert when it comes to flowers and much better at naming flowers correctly. thanks, shanna!

cherry blossoms

2012-02-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist this little 2-4M cherry blossoms shirt at h&m. only $3!

Is it weird I want to post all the cute clothes we bought/received?

I know that a lot of people gather baby clothes before they have kids, so I guess we are just doing that. But it's still in this weird time frame where I kinda feel like we're a buying things for this specific baby even though, obviously, we are not.

And secretly I feel like it's part of the grieving process or something. Because I feel weirdly justified.

baby hats

2012-02-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

We have a few friends having winter babies so last week I started crocheting baby hats and I didn't stop. I made this ear flap beanie and this shell stitch beanie.

It's been a great way to use up some scraps of yarn. I think my favorite is the blue/cream one, but I do love the little ear flaps.

new decor/things

2012-02-07T22:07:00.002-07:00

I sewed a few things over the last few weeks. Two easy pillow covers (I used some striped fabric that I was holding onto for something...and decided to just use it), an xoxo felt garland and a new cardigan. That was the easiest. I used a tutorial I found on pinterest. It was way easy to save a shirt with a neckline I didn't love.

desserts

2012-02-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

this week I made a few great desserts. and of course, they come from our best bites (I promise, I don't get paid to talk about their recipes).

The first, pizzookies. I made my favorite chocolate chocolate chip dough and made some caramel syrup. yum!

then I made a raspberry white chocolate cheesecake.

mmm.

it's been a good week. / next week I am not going to make any more desserts :)

byu game

2012-02-03T17:44:00.001-07:00

Last weekend we went to the byu basketball game (opponent shall not be named) and it was fun! We went with my little sister and had fun up at the top. Thanks to my parents for the tickets!

february air

2012-02-01T09:56:00.001-07:00

I am so glad that January is over. It was much too long and much too sad and much too empty.

I wonder if there will be a time when every Wednesday doesn't mean I make another mental tally (or we both do) of another week. I imagine that soon enough it will be too many weeks to keep track of in my head, but by then it will be easy to count in months or a year. And hopefully by then, we will have another day to count from. And this one won't be so close to the surface.

January was one month down in an unknown number of months ahead. 3 months. That is how far I would have been from a baby today. Can you believe it? I can't...it's like I remember being pregnant but it seems so long ago that I can't imagine what it would be like to 27 weeks pregnant. Ah. What can I do? And now it's 9 + ? = baby. And that ? is stupid. I want our baby, a new baby, someone else's baby...(not in a baby-thief kind of way).

And on that note, thank you to all the ladies who have shared their babies (and toddlers) with me lately. I would hold them even longer if I could...but for those moments I do, it just doesn't seem so long until we will have our own baby. I don't know. It's bittersweet, but mostly sweet because these babies are just so precious and you can't be sad holding a new baby. So even though I'm like, crazy jealous (which is on my own emotional maturity, a story for another day, I am sure), I'm so glad your babies are here safe. And wearing an amanda-made bow tie or onesie, no less! (thank you for humoring me! I will have to post some pictures of the cuties wearing my latest creations.)

so here's to february.

still empty, still sad but not as long (literally, thank goodness).

and full of better things.

videos of calvin

2012-01-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

Hey those who care, these videos should work now!!

here are some iphone videos of calvin. they are really jerky on my computer and I'm not sure if they will be like that here. but they are still cute. especially the ones about the

"doo ee"

recommendation: two books

2012-01-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

the book thief.

I think I am like a year behind in reading this, but it is one of the best books I've read in a long time. I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it.

It is beautiful, heartbreaking and has the most unique writing style I've ever read. I cannot get over it.

And, as a disclaimer, it made me cry and cry. [I've gotten in trouble for not mentioning books I like are sad..(em)] But that is part of the beauty of this book. However, I am easily moved by books in general. And I cry a lot more than usual these days.

The books I love the most are books that move me, and this is definitely one of those.

hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet

We read this for book club this month and I really liked it. It was also a beautiful story and I liked the writing style. An interesting perspective on being Asian (but American) in the US during WWII. Really great characters.

Melancholy and bittersweet, but with good closure.

Both of these books I finished rather quickly because I couldn't wait to see what happened next. They are both from interesting perspectives (German Kids, Chinese/Japanese-American kids). Both books also made me so sad for all that people have had to suffer through and endure throughout the ages. I feel sad that people have to be hungry, cold, bombed, discriminated against, kicked out of their rightful homes, tortured, hated, etc.

I guess all we can do is try to make the world the best we can so things don't have to happen like that again?

Have you read either of these books? thoughts??

things

2012-01-27T23:19:00.001-07:00

a few weeks ago I made a chocolate mousse crunch cake and it was pretty good. Dave, the hater of cakes, requested it for his upcoming birthday.

Last week we received two separate packages from anonymous givers and they were a nice surprise! The first was a little bulb planter and I will post pictures when they come up. The second was this box of cookies. They were so good. I hate not knowing things, so I really wish I knew who sent these. Of course, I respect the anonymity, but if you are out there, thank you!!

I got my hair cut. I realize this doesn't really show much, but it is the shortest it's been (but same basic cut) and I am totally loving it. I also had my bangs cut (they go to the side) and I'm glad to have bangs again.

I also bought three lipsticks at Target last week. I just really felt I needed them. Earlier that day I looked up on the internets (so it must be true) what colors were good for my fair skin and then bought some that I think are the right colors. I kind of want to buy a million more to experiment.

and I love it. I feel that I won't look so pale in pictures now. sort of bright pink (probably too bright; it isn't my favorite), a berry pink (below) and a caramel/nude color. Maybe someday I'll go for cherry red (the red for fair skin, according to internets), but I like these for now. Although, if they make me look stupid, you should tell me, because that is what friends are for.

heavy

2012-01-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

That time

I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had his hand in this,

as well as friends.
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel,
(brave even among lions),
"It's not the weight you carry

but how you carry it -
books, bricks, grief -
it's all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,
put it down."
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?

Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?

How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe

also troubled -
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?

by mary oliver.

I feel every word of this poem. Crazy how that happens.

(thank you to my extremely well-read sister in law, karren)

on guilt/i need a chubby baby.

2012-01-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

via

A few nights ago Dave and I were talking about things and in my very rational (read: teary and irrational) state, I wondered if it would be "okay" to be really excited to have another baby. Like to be even extra excited that (I still say if?) they make it here. Like if that is unfair/un whatever. Moving on and not forgetting our baby, just being happy to have another baby. It look me like 15 tries to explain my thoughts to Dave because I wasn't sure of them myself. So I hope this makes sense.

I think this is similar to what some parents go through when they have a second child. Like how can they ever love the second like the first, etc.? I think this is what I'm feeling. It's hard to see how (from my perspective) we will be just as excited for another baby.

But then I feel guilty for realizing that of course I would be excited to have another baby and actually have them here. And not that we are more excited for another baby, but the excitement will just last longer? Maybe I feel guilty because that excitement will last longer and cause more things to come into play (and I'm not sure what I mean by that...buying things? nursery? all the things that parents do? chubby little legs and cheeks to actually kiss?)

So much was cut short when we lost our baby. So many things we won't get to experience, and I hope that it is natural to feel excited to get to do those things with other kids, but still sad that we missed out on that with this baby.

And I think it is hard for my heart and my brain to think that our next child will sort of the be first and sort of the second. I mean, in most ways it will be a first. Except for a few things like the first 20 weeks pregnancy, knowing what to expect -ish- the next time labor comes around and the dramatics (though maybe it will be less dramatic next time?) (oh, and recovery will be the same. urg, that is something that irks me...all the regular recoveries from childbirth but...no baby?? not cool.)

It will all be new, so doesn't that make it the first?

And I want to be so excited for all those firsts without thinking about how it kind of isn't but mostly is. Gah. I hate being confused.

But then Dave, with his age-old wisdom (almost 28, the oldie), said very kindly that he thinks our baby would be happy that we would be so happy for her brothers/sisters, and she would know that it is the same love and excitement we had for her, it's just different now. And she will be happy to see all the love that we have in our family. And I don't think that she or anyone would want our experiences with our other babies to be less than exciting and happy.

And that just has to be enough.

on escaping

2012-01-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

Every few days or sometimes hours, I get this desperate, heavy feeling in my soul that I need to get out of here. And to where? I don't know. But sometimes it just consumes my thoughts.

I don't know if it means out of this apartment for a day where I spend an alarming amount of time (when you consider the fact I live here) or out for a few weeks or for a few years. Or out of this state of life or out of this state...I'm not sure. But I know that I needtogetoutofhere. and like yesterday.

We're doing some traveling/moving in April and maybe I'll get more than I asked for then (wedding travel, vacation travel, moving travel, traveling to look at apartments before we move travel), but I doubt it. I just need to leave. Leave these walls where all I remember is that I was having a baby and now I'm not.

And then I remember it's the middle of January and where am I going to go? I want to feel the sun on my face but I can't really pack up and go to Mexico for a week. Even knowing that, I can't shake it. And April seems so far away.

Part of our traveling will hopefully be a vacation to California, where hopefully we'll go to Disneyland and see the ocean and maybe send our cares away in a bottle.

We've tried, in a pathetic attempt to find humor/the bright side of everything, to make a "pros" list, if you will. Of course, we'd give all of those back, but what can I say? They help for a minute.

Like I can ride roller coasters, buy clothes I was putting off because I wouldn't fit in them anyways (my red jeans, which make me happy), and lick the spoon when I make batter. And oh, I licked the crap out of it. so there.

So I may just buy myself a new, striped swimsuit and march myself to California and feel free.

gone too soon

2012-01-17T22:41:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Suzy brought us over a book called "Gone Too Soon" (by sherri devasharayee wittwer) last week. It's a book about dealing with any kind of loss of infants and unborn children from an LDS perspective. I am anxious to read the book and I think it will a good, but hard experience. And I may write about my thoughts as I go through the book, because writing helps and maybe this will help others in grief.

I know it will be hard because just reading first line of the dedication put tears in my eyes:

"to my son who first let me taste the sweetness of motherhood..."

I can't even really start reading it. I just skimmed through the book and read parts that stuck out to me. I did read the preface, which threw into sharp relief the pieces of my heart and life that are scattered around me. We don't cry every day anymore and it isn't so hard to be normal. But everything is still there.

She quotes from 1 Corinthians:

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

I know that this is true. I know that some day I will see the big picture. I have faith in the gospel and in my Savior and His plan. But. It. still. sucks. everyday. It's an interesting paradox in my mind, to know for sure that our baby is safe and happy in heaven, but to know without a doubt that that means she is not here. How can I wish her away from our Savior's arms? But oh, I do. I do and I cry bitter tears that we couldn't keep her.

Her perfect, perfects toes. I will never forget looking at our baby and knowing that she was perfect, but she just needed more time (the author talks about this as well). Her perfect toes, perfect tiny hands, sweet nose and lips. Just two days before we saw her perfect, four-chambered heart.

And I'm angry at my otherwise healthy but somehow incompetent body for not being able to keep her inside, for whatever unknown reason. And I know that we are lucky that we are able to have children and hopefully this will never happen again. But it will be part of our every day for the rest of our lives.

recommendation: mat kearney

2012-01-13T11:59:00.000-07:00

Lately I haven't really found any new music. I mostly stuck to my itunes collection and if I heard a song I liked on the radio, I would youtube it, then buy it after I listened to it 299 times to make sure I still liked it. Since I did some sewing for Christmas, I rediscovered Pandora and remembered that I really like it. My favorite station right now is Mat Kearney. And then I realized that, after hearing them throughout the rotations, I really just wanted to listen to his songs. And that's where we've been for a week or so. I really like his album City of Black and White (I have a song or two from it in itunes) but failed to explore/buy the rest of it. Then he recently came out with Young Love and I've used Grooveshark to listen to songs from these albums over and over. I've liked Mat Kearney since high school and I was glad to find his new music.

His sound is pretty unique, I think, and I love the variety of music/sounds. And his lyrics. Like one of my favorite authors, I feel he captures life in these achingly beautiful lyrics. Some of his songs are fun though, and much more upbeat (hey mama, she's got the honey). But anyway, if you want something new to list to, try this playlist.

My top three: Runaway, City of Black & White and a four-way tie between Down, Learning to Love Again, Ships in the Night and Head or Your Heart. So, yeah. Give it a listen and tell me what you think!

here's my favorite:

The road below our wheels, all that we fought to heal
You close your eyes and cry, dying for the right to feel
I hear it coming down, oh the sweetest sound
Of forgotten tears falling on the solid ground

Nobody knows the trouble we've seen
Nobody knows the price of this dream

And nobody knows what it took to believe

behind-the-scenes, if you will.

2012-01-12T11:50:00.001-07:00

I have 999 posts. This is technically my 1000 post, but I'm going to go through my drafts (44 of them, mostly empty, I'm sure) and delete them. I've deleted drafts before but these 44 got left behind somehow. However, some of them are things I am not sure why I never finished writing about. Cause you know, they are clearly excellent pieces of writing. Here is a behind-the-scenes, if you will. [with 2012 notes]. enjoy!

2/08

Then we had to hand staple (well, put under the automatic stapler) 455 tests because someone forgot to tell the printer to do it for us. Goodie.

[this was a work rant (good old copy shop), which is fun because I remember doing this with Dave. cute]

2/23/10

i can't believe it's twelve. i know that's when i went to bed when i was single and crazy, but now i live a more sheltered life. i am going to die tomorrow. fall over and die. at least fall asleep in a class. or i won't, since they are the desk chairs. oi.

5/13/10

yes, everyday dave tells me I think too much:

These are thoughts I've had over the last week or so that I'm trying to put down in a sensible manner. They may not make sense but hopefully someone understands what I'm talking about. It's a little vague, as I don't mean to offend or label anything. So, there you go. Over the past few weeks as I've been at the internship and especially these last few days as I've asked others where they got their degrees or why and would they recommend it...I've thought a lot (more) about what I want to do when I grow up. And I mean, I'm already a little grown up, but I still have a lot of deciding to do. Well, we do, rather.

Come January, I will probably just find a job. Since Dave graduates in August [haha, right], I don't plan on starting a second degree until we figure out where we're going. The other issue is I don't really know what degree I'd even do. My thoughts range from an MPH to MPA to a lofty MPH/JD (haha, right) or an MBA (haha, remember that C I got in accounting 200?) to a nursing degree. Oh, or a masters in communication. I'm really liking that as well. The MPH or nursing make the most sense, and are probably most aligned with what I want to do. Oh, what do I want to do?

Half the time, I have no idea. I guess it comes down to the fact that I can't decide where I want my influence to be. (how weird does that sound?) But it's true. I can't figure out if I want to be a nurse, a program director, a policy maker, a....whatever. I can't decide. There are so many good things to do and so many good ways to do them. I cannot make up my mind. And I thought I had a clear path when I picked a major. But public health is so broad that you have to then decide where you want to take that. And I know you don't have to do it all at once, but I need a plan, you know?

Then, I take a step back. This is what happened this week. Not just deep down I know that I want to be a mom and raise a good family. But I still know you can do that and a lot of other things. So when I talk about other degrees or future jobs, those all work around a family. But on the other hand, I realize that I don't necessarily have to feel the need (make sense?) to do anything else.

So the inspiration I've come to this week is where do I want my influence to be? What kind of success do I want? Talking with Dave put some things in perspective. I'm often focused on wordly success. And nothing is wrong with trying to fix the world. But there are other kinds of successes, and maybe those matter more in the long run. Plus, as Dave said, I'm trying to find successes that don't come until a lifetime of work. And one more thing--while I like learning, I don't really like school anymore. I mean, after 15+ years, I think I can be done with school. But maybe I'd feel left behind if I wasn't a "master" at something...you know?

So basically, that's what I've been pondering about. It's not that I just want to say "well, everyone else can worry about fixing the world because I'm just going to live my life and raise a family and fix things there"....but in a sense....

It's just that I know what really can change a person, and maybe my goal in life will be to use my skills and future family to share that.

And I'll take things as they come, I suppose. I believe that things happen for a reason. I absolutely do. So I know there is a plan for us, and in time and with effort, we'll know what to do. For some reason, the things like a major/career/passion decisions don't come as easily to me as others.

Meh, I don't know.

5/20/10

you know how preferences tend to change as you get older? (or do they? maybe I'm making that up.) I have always preferred vanilla to chocolate....but it seems recently that...

[I never finished what I can only assume was an ode to chocolate. fascinating]

6/1/10

happy june! it's birthday month which means plans for my awesome birthday party can legitimately be made. too bad most of my friends are not here, but I know at least three people will come (that's you guys, emily)

Dave as the third person, of course. It's nice to be married. You have a guaranteed attender to your parties.

Although, if only three people come it's not that bad: less guilt if it turns out to be a bust and more mocktails for me :)

6/4/10

it's not the greatest picture, but the other day Ali Vincent was at a hospital in our chapter so we went over there to see her for a few minutes. [hopefully some people know who that is! she was the first woman to win biggest loser. yes, I'm famous now.]

7/29/10

do you ever start listening to a song and wish you were alone in a room so you could totally rock out?

8/5/10

The last few days of my internship were shorter days, which was nice because it gave me some extra time to pack, do homework and take naps. We're taking a evening train to richmond tomorrow...and it's crazy. Today is our last full day in DC. It's kind of sad, but on the other hand, we're excited to head back west. This week has been so weird anyway; it'll be nice to be more permanent. Three out of four suitcases are packed and we have almost eaten all our food.

[sad. i hated leaving that place. miss it all the time.]

9/12/10

a blank post simply entitled: "one weeeeeeeeek"

[no idea.]

9/15/10

This is one of those times where I am the picture of a new bride and we may have to throw away the dinner that I made (late) because I wanted to try a recipe and I got everything for it and it sounds/smells delicious. oops. I think it's because I used partially frozen chicken and that never works. I should know that. Bleh. The chicken, having been in the oven for over an hour, is still slightly pink. I can't tell if that is from the sauce or if it is...

[i believe i was making orange chicken in the oven which i have never tried to make again since]
9/27/10
the backup plan
the last song
the bounty hunter

[i was probably going to review these movies. here you go: suuuucked; predictable; worth a watch. you're welcome]

1/5/11

I am convinced that no first day of anything major is free from some kind of disaster. It may not be disaster like your skirt was tucked into to your waistband or anything (which, amazing enough, has yet to happen)...but there is always something.

On the first day of our summer internships/jobs, Emily and I took the wrong line, went a stop too far and had to go back and forth on the metro 24 times. Luckily we left really early.

On Monday, I left early enough that the GPS said I would arrive at 9:53. A little too early for my taste. We needed gas and live quite close to a gas station and it was on the way. I decide to get gas. I turn onto the street and switch lanes. I didn't see the huge chunk of ice until it was too late to switch.

Ok, I did see it and I could have switched but I thought "our car can clear that"...

I must have been confusing our tiny subaru with a much larger car. Any other car, actually.

I hear a horrible clunk as I run over the ice. Oops. Oh well, the car still works. Then, as I'm approaching the light, I hear another loud clunking noise and check my rear-view mirror and find myself driving away from a piece of our car.

[which i later, after struggling internally for a few minutes, ran out into the road to get. and I think it's still in the back seat.]

2/24/11

(I brainstormed this post awhile ago and when I read Katie's recent post, not only did it resonate with my soul, but I remembered this idea)

As we approach our two year anniversary, I realize that we should be past the burnt cooking and Awful Meals That Husbands Eat Out Of Love (or hunger)...but sometimes, we are not, and it is frustrating.

I didn't expect to become a brilliant chef-wife over night (or in a year), but I also do not attempt to cook/bake the impossible, either. I always have a recipe to follow and it irks me to no end when yet again, something did not turn out. I feel a strange disappointment at not being able to make something by following precise directions. Especially since I'm a wife and all, that is sort of my job.

I don't mind making the food and Dave does not mind eating the food. What is the problem?

The other day I tried a new recipe for enchiladas. They were not that good. I mean, they were edible, sure, but not that great.

When that happens, I question Dave continuously as to whether he likes it and why not. When he doesn't really like it or would prefer a more traditional method of cooking, I get defensive of my recipe choice...and this time Dave asked

"well do you like it?"

And of course I do, because I made it. (not really). And when I made lasagna with ricotta cheese, we weren't fans, but hello! It was homemade lasagna, right? How bad could it be?

So our dinners are full of "now I knows"

[katie, that post makes me laugh still]

2/28/11

how much dave likes concerts

amanda "I think you'd like Muse in concert"

dave "are they loud?"

amanda "they have a light-up piano!"

dave "your mom has a light-up piano."

ok, then.

[yep, same ol' dave]

4/11?

Can I just say that I hate paying for car repairs? I mean, in general, I hate paying for anything (except good food or shoes)

[truer words were never spoken, my friends]

4/21/11

tassel

and good thing Dave and I both graduate with a bachelor of science degree. because I realize the night before that tassel color may matter.

6/8/11

on hair and biking

I cut 3 inches off my hair yesterday. It hasn't been this short since 2008. (and that makes me sad, seeing as it took 3+ years to get those three inches!!). It never grew as long as I had it in high school and I'm not sure I'll ever get it that long again. I love long hair and all you can do with it, but I sure loved having short hair. I'm thinking that before the summer is over I will cut it short. It is too bad that it takes five minutes to get short hair but years to have it long again.

We rode our bikes to a park in provo canyon yesterday. It is funny to me how the way there seems so far and the way home is a lot shorter. And every single time I bike up university (a forever-long stretch of road enough uphill to make it hurt) I'm amazed.

It's all about the small triumphs, right?

6/17/11

things of no eternal consequence

but are still annoying.

1.

[i must have realized #firstworldproblems]

7/7/11

this week is kind of a sad one. some of my favorite people are moving away. one of my oldest and best friends, former roommate and the smartest girl I know, Katie is moving with her husband, Aaron, to Philadelphia. It's not like we won't be friends anymore, but it's kinda weird that she'll be so far away for so long. They had a fun barbecue last night (and I made this chicken) and it was a little sad to leave.

[here was where an ode to our bffs, the mangums, was supposed to go. i probably felt this was all too depressing and abandoned it. we still love you]

10/11?

[new stripped hoodie that i dearly love]

11/7/11

[yeah, i made a load of bowties]

so, four years later, I'm still as indecisive as ever and get in these really ridiculous situations. We haven't had any major recipe blunders lately, which helps me feel like my life is progressing.

thanks for reading my blog (and especially those who have kept with it for four years!) and commenting and referencing my blog in conversations. makes me feel like a rockstar.

former life.

2012-01-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

Every wednesday we count the number of weeks and can't believe it has been that long. On the one hand, it was just like yesterday, but it also was a very long time ago. Four weeks. So long since our other life. I wish we could go back to that life, celebrating with orange creamsicles, apple cider and the cutest little ruffled skirt.

calvin's birthday

2012-01-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

Last Friday we went over to Shanna and Evan's for a quick birthday celebration for Calvin. Same as last year, he wasn't a to big fan of the cupcake. Silly kid. Anyway, we love any excuse to hang around Calvin. (oh, and we like Shanna and Evan as well). He is so so smart these days and is so cute.

He is great at opening presents now!

Shanna and Evan made him a cool fort that goes over their table (see more here) and he loves it. There is a cute little mail box and he loves putting things through it. After we went home I decided to make him some little envelopes. I saw a few on pinterest that I liked, but I made them most like this one. Pretty easy and they do the job.

recipe overload/some sort of cookbook review.

2012-01-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

I got the Our Best Bites cookbook for Christmas and I am loving it. Pretty much everything new I've made this year has been from this cookbook. Almost everything we've had for dinner has been OBB. So anyways, here are my favorites so far. A few of them are on their website, so try them out!

stromboli! yum. breadstick/pizza dough filled with cheese, chicken, tomatoes and spinach.

White chicken chili. To us, this is actually like a soup more than a chili, but we LOVE it. I made it twice in one week. And I think I've seen it before on their website but I didn't make it because we already have a white chicken chili that we love. But this is better. Unless you want a thicker chili. But. This. Cilantro and lime just make this dish. We had it with avocado, sour cream and homemade tortilla strips.

I made the chipotle beef taquitos, italian meatball soup, stuffed pizza rolls (their breadstick recipe is freaking good) and baked chicken-alfredo (with bacon and artichokes and homemade Alfredo sauce) and we've just loved it all.

I'm really loving this cookbook. It's full of good, healthy and fresh recipes, tips and techniques and I really like the format.

calvin!

2012-01-06T12:48:00.001-07:00

As always, here is a 180 degree post.

Today Calvin is two! We are so happy to live close to this guy. He's super smart, super cute and we all know I'm his favorite.

lately.

2012-01-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I put the diapers and some outfits in a pretty box and put it in the other room. And it wasn't as dramatic as it sounds. We didn't even cry.

It isn't the fact that we put it away (we would for moving anyway), it's the seeming eternity before we have a reason to open the box again. I just can't get over how close we were and how far away we are now.

And it's so obvious, all the time. It's just there. Even when you aren't thinking about it, it's all you can think about. Just looking in the mirror reminds me.

We are clinging to hope and faith. We're also sad, empty, exhausted, jealous, annoyed, bitter...I feel normal and not normal. Like I'm myself, but not. I want to tell everyone everything that happened, but I want to keep it all to myself.

And though this may contradict what I've wrote, I don't want this blog to be depressing. I don't want to be a depressing person. I'm trying to not let this be a chronicle of my bitterness, but sometimes it feels stupid to blog about something else. So, I don't know. I don't want this to define my life or my blog, but sometimes it's all I've got.

But we still laugh and have fun and try to plan for the future (ha, as if that ever works). Even though by the end of the day it's still hard and not fair that we were having a baby first and now we're have a baby last and it's still just so so sad, we are pressing forward.

Because how can we not?

projects

2012-01-04T21:43:00.001-07:00

As promised, here are some projects I made over the last few months. I bought Dave's presents quite early (I don't think he'd like anything I could make him, ha!), and thought that I would finish everything I wanted to make by the end of November. But I was finishing stuff on Christmas Eve, I think. Oh well. I didn't make presents for everyone, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Part of the fun. And keeping me busy.

I started this clutch in November and didn't finish it until this last week. Oops. It was pretty easy. Not perfect, but still pretty cute.

I made some button and felt earrings. I copied some earrings I saw at a craft store with some felt.

My mom has some ornaments that my grandma made a few years ago. I made her some more in more modern colors.

I made some non-vintage versions of this calendar. I just stamped away while we were netflixing.

I crocheted my dad some hats in his favorite team (cowboys) colors.

This was my pièce de résistance. I had my future brother in law, Colby, who likes the San Francisco Giants. And this is what my sister gave me as an idea. And some ugly dude named "the beard". And footie pjs. So, yeah.

I basically had the best lightbulb moments of all time. Seriously. Anyways, I crocheted him a hat and a detachable beard. I never really got a good picture.

I also didn't get a great picture of it, but I also made him a snuggie. They are actually pretty easy to make! Just a lot of hemming (but you don't even have to do that because fleece doesn't fray). Then I cut out SF and sewed that on the chest, which was the trickiest part. But yeah, awesome. If you can't tell, this is him being content on Christmas.

He could be faking, since I built it up so much and he's nice.

We also bought some fun presents, like an inflatable tie for my brother-in-law. Dave also made my cousin a bottle rocket launcher and some fun rockets.

Did you make anything for Christmas or find something suuuuper cool?

new years

2012-01-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

We spent new years with my family and had a great time! My family does a meat fondue every year which is delicious and this year added a chocolate fondue. It rocked.

We ate, watched Tangled & Psych, played monopoly deal and toasted bubbly at midnight. and enjoyed some fireworks (and seeing mars).

Christmas.

2011-12-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

Christmas this year was great! We spent it with my family and had a lot of fun. We got some great presents and are definitely grateful for our family's generosity! Here are some highlights:

Dave's new biking jersey. And I think between the two of us, we acquired approximately 488 new pairs of socks.

I got some fun new kitchen toys (of course?). Including an immersion blender and this beautiful dutch oven.

As usual, the year ends with waaaay too much candy. I don't know, who is complaining? Not us. Dave loves tootsie pops. I did put a ton of candy in our study to save for July, which is when we should finish what is in the kitchen. Actually, we'll probably save it for trick-or-treaters.

Here is the thing: Dave is really good at presents. He also has great taste (though other times in the year I have to drag an opinion out of him..) He made (sewed!) this little chapstick holder because everytime I change from jeans to pjs, I spend the whole night trying to find my chapstick. (which you think would be in my pants pocket, which sometimes it is, but more often is not.)

Our media collection also increased. (we looove deleted scenes)

Dave also got a fancy remote control helicopter, which he loves and flies often. I'm terrible at flying it.

Next week I will post the projects I made for Christmas gifts. Just you wait, they are awesome!!

on an unrelated note

2011-12-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

I did not think it would be so hard to find a pair of flat, dark brown boots. That fit and aren't ugly. I mean, seriously, I'm not thaaat picky. I am not even looking for a specific design, just those four parameters. (ok, and I don't want to pay a million dollars for them)

Doesn't seem that hard, does it?

But I have looked everywhere (ok, not everywhere, but seriously, who does that?) and right now am just giving up. I think that is how it works, right? You stop looking for something specific and then it just comes?

And you know, I feel like screaming to the universe: "with all that has happened, can't I just find a freaking pair of brown boots??"

on time

2011-12-27T21:31:00.001-07:00

Earlier this year, I wrote about how I couldn't wait for 2011 to end.

And here we are, at the end.

And I feel like I have nothing to show for it.

I feel like that is not my fault, because I definitely thought I knew how this year was ending and how next year was beginning. But that is gone now, and what is left looks like we are just repeating this year again.

And sure, I have a year of career experience under my belt, a new hobby of biking and I am a better cook now. Dave finished his classes and is almost done with grad school. We have done a lot of fun things, but I am ready to move on. And all I see are more months where everything is uncertain. As of December 31st, we have reached the end of our plans. And we'll know what we are doing soon enough (one thing I do know is that we are four months from a washer/dryer. and I will just cling to that), but we are in the same place as we've been for a while, and the view from here is a little gray. (name the reference??)

Even with all that has happened, this year has been good. We have been blessed and are looking forward to this new year. The end of a lot of things and the beginning of other things. And boy, am I ready for other things.

I'm trying not to be too disappointed because things are different than I thought they'd be, but you know. It just happens that way sometimes.

here is to 2012!

have a safe & happy new year!

dawn of redeeming grace

2011-12-25T21:20:00.001-07:00

we have never been more grateful for our Savior as we have been this season. Merry Christmas!

gingerbread houses

2011-12-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Our friends invited us over last night to make gingerbread houses (with graham crackers, the new gingerbread!) and it was very fun! Dave made an awesome airplane. Mine was pretty run-of-the-mill but it still brought some Christmas spirit! We also got to play with a cute baby, so that was a plus!

lights

2011-12-23T23:56:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago, or, a million years ago, we went with some ward friends to see the lights at temple square. We also ate at a fun diner and stopped at h&m (kind of lame!). It was fun! It was cold and crowded, but the temple was breathtaking as usual and the lights very festive. And it was a full moon, which was kind of cool!

Last night we went for a "light drive" with some other friends. We saw some beautiful (& huge!!) houses with some great lights. We also tried some Starbucks hot chocolate and caramel apple cider and it was delicious (lacey, you guys should give it one more try :)).

this house! those pillars! bah!!

distractions.

2011-12-21T10:40:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's been a week. I feel like it's the longest and shortest of my life. We have been trying to keep busy, and that includes, in true winter break fashion, staying up until 12 or 1 or 2 watching TV and then sleeping in until 9 or 10. yikes. I feel bad about that but...it just happens. We are still pretty productive during the day.

Here are some of the good things from this week:

Flowers. We have been the recipients of beautiful flowers. I really wish they could last forever. They are all so wonderfully arranged. I love that they have wintery greens in them. Their color, scent and the fact that they are flowers in December have really helped our home to feel a little more peace and beauty. All the flat surfaces we have (5) are topped with flowers.

Work Christmas party. thai food, white elephant and ugly sweaters. It was fun and it was nice to be in the company of our friends! (missing: front of sweater = huge, puffy snowman)

Wedding dress shopping. my sister and sister-in-law are both getting married in the spring. I went dress looking with my sisters-in-law on Saturday. (hopefully she doesn't mind this picture!) Kristy tried on a few dresses and I kind of wanted to try some on for the fun of it. But I didn't. Then we had dinner with Shanna, Evan, Calvin and Kristy and it was fun. Also, I have the cutest nephew.

Christmas. We're plugging along trying to finish up shopping and sewing and other things for Christmas. I finished Dave's shopping quite early and thought I was totally on the ball. Oh well. We aren't really stressed about it and it's part of the fun, I guess. Here is our little Christmas tree (and festive flowers) with some presents under the tree.

Caramels. We made some apple cider caramels and it was quite the process. I made the first batch on Monday afternoon and it turned out harder than rocks. Oops. We tried again later that night (that was the night we stayed up until 2) and with our combined efforts, it worked. constant vigilance.

2011-12-19T10:07:00.001-07:00

thank you so much. we have been so touched by all the comments, emails, texts, calls and service sent our way these past few days. we have felt your prayers and are so grateful for your kindness, well wishes and hope.

every day it gets better. less of the absolute sorrow we felt on wednesday/thursday and more feeling normal. we still strive to fill our days with as much activity as we can, because distractions definitely help.

sometimes though, we still feel like we are drowning and our hearts will never be okay. and I'm sometimes scared that all I'll see when I close my eyes for the rest of my life is our little girl on the ultrasound screen.

but we are holding on to the beautiful hope and truth in our life. and when that is all we have, that is enough.

our baby girl.

2011-12-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

Dave and I lost our baby girl yesterday. It has been quite a 24 hours. We are fine, physically, but it has been an emotionally exhausting time period. Week actually, since things kind of started on Monday. Everything came back fine and everything was fine until it wasn't. We are glad that we got to sneak one more ultrasound in there, since that is the only way we really knew her. We spent a long night at the hospital and are glad to be back home. We had great nurses and doctors who were so kind to us.

Our hearts are broken because we won't get to know our little baby in this life, but find peace in knowing we'll meet her someday because we are a forever family. We are so grateful for that knowledge. It helps, but even in this short time, it still hits us sometimes (or once an hour?) with such a force I am not sure how we will ever be ok.

What happened was quite a rare thing to happen at 20 weeks and was kind of a big, sucky fluke. Our baby was so perfect looking and it was so hard to say goodbye. But we have felt such love from our family and friends and are so grateful for the love you have shown us!

Quite the turnaround from a 20 week baby bump picture, I know. I feel like this is the next thing in a string of tragedies that have affected people I love. (I'm calling it the Bowen 11 curse and I hope it stops with me!)

it's a...

2011-12-10T22:48:00.001-07:00

baby girl!

and we're so excited!

The voting was close (from the blog, at least).10:9 in favor of a boy...and I was in the boy camp! To be honest, I did want a boy more than a girl. And if you think I'm a terrible person, read this. I really liked her thoughts on this.

So, yes, "in my heart of hearts", I was hoping for a boy...but I wouldn't say I was disappointed to be having a girl. Just surprised because I felt like I "knew" it was a boy. Ah well, always next time!

However, we are both very excited to be having a little girl! We feel blessed to have a healthy (and modest/stubborn) baby girl on the way!

(we're almost halfway there!)

halloween party

2011-12-06T12:35:00.001-07:00

I forgot to post these around Halloween. I thought they were cute so I'm posting them now. These are from our ward Halloween party (where Shanna and I both placed in the pumpkin pie contest; her pumpkin cheesecake won and it was soo good!)

Also, if anyone can identify the black thing that Dave's head is in? Another character from stitch?

Here is Calvin being a blue crayon. Cute!

English Trifle

2011-12-05T11:58:00.001-07:00

Our ward Christmas party was an around-the-world dessert theme. Our families hail from England and Denmark, mostly. Dave did serve a Spanish-speaking mission, but has not incorporated much Spanish cooking into our lives. And since I got the sign up and always wanted to make a trifle...

I started with this perfect pound cake. I can't believe how nicely it floated out of the pan. One thing is I had to cook it a bit longer than it said (dumb oven/elevation?) and the outside was perfect. I didn't realize until the next day that the inside was still a bit underdone. (the toothpick came out clean, but it looked wet). So I cut them into cubes and tried to dry them out by basically making pound cake croutons. (but not too crunchy)

Then I made a Grand Raspberry Trifle.

Yum! Costco has fresh raspeberries for pretty cheap and Dave really wanted to stay home so he could eat it all. It did go pretty fast at the party (and sad to say, it does not look nearly as nice when it gets served...but that did not deter anyone.) It was easy to make and fun! The reason I was worried about wet pound cake was it was going to be covered in raspberry jam. I knew the bread would get wet, but I didn't want it wet and underdone.

I didn't try any of the final product, but I did make a taste test of extra cake, raspberries and cream. Still good :) Not as perfect as Martha's, but what is? They must have made a lot more whipped cream than the recipe called for.

It was fun to try my hand at some English Trifle and hopefully I made some ancestors proud. It was probably not super legit, as there was no custard nor alcohol, but what can you do?

p.s. I'm loving watching the voting results...last night it was tied. I really want to know who voted for what (and why?)...so indulge me if you can!

needed: little bum

2011-12-02T12:00:00.001-07:00

Look how cuuuuuuute! So, we're going to do/try cloth diapers. I am not morally against disposable diapers at all (hello, vacations!) but I do like the benefits of cloth. And so we are going to try them. We've had some friends do them with success and that definitely encourages me. The modern all-in-ones are basically just as easy as disposable, except you have to wash them. And from what I hear, you do a lot of laundry with babies anyways. So I'm not worried about that. PLUS they are just stinking cute.

And I would be lying if I said that using cloth diapers wasn't part of a bigger plan to make SURE our next apartment has a washer/dryer in house. Haha, just kidding, but the timing works out great because heaven knows I'm NOT doing cloth diapers without a washer in the next room.

have any of you tried cloth diapers? can you even wait to see our baby with a little blue-diapered bum?

FOR THE RECORD: cookies from dough that has been refrigerated for 2 days was the clear winner. I would never, ever turn down a chocolate chip cookie that was not refrigerated, etc., but we ate those yesterday and were like "wow. these are freaking delicious." And since it wasn't a side-by-side test, it was based on how we remembered the other ones tasting, which were also really good. So just try it sometime.

ALSO: I am putting a poll up since we'll be finding out the gender in the next month...so if you care to vote, vote away!

off to make more cookies.

2011-11-30T19:57:00.001-07:00

So, I know, this isn't a food blog but I post a lot about food. I just like to share my good findings. Also, I eat a lot, so as this is a blog about our life, some food is necessary. And I've never heard a complaint, really, so....who cares? Anyways. These are the events:

I made these cookies after dinner. And of course, they were delicious. And so easy to just whip up (it's a third-ed recipe). I also only made a dozen. We are going to do an unofficial taste test and see if refrigerating for 24 and 36 hours makes a difference. Mostly, I knew that if I made them all, we may very well have ate them all last night. so...in the fridge the extra dough went.

For dinner last night I made this artichoke pasta bake. And it was soooo good. The flavors of the artichokes, feta, banana peppers and olives were great!

I also bought some pomegranates (and used this tutorial to cut/deseed). Yum! They are fun to eat and one pomegranate has lasted for quite a while. I may just have to go back for more,

christmas craft

2011-11-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

This year my big craft was this wreath. I wanted to make one last year, but waited until after Christmas to stock up on ornaments. They've been patiently sitting in the closet all year until I recently took them out and went to town. I loved how (that) it turned out! There are gold, silver and blue ornaments, shiny and matte. I especially love the matte ones. I also used three sizes. I even had enough left over to decorate our tiny tree with them.

I used this tutorial, which I liked because it was threading ornaments onto a hanger, not gluing them onto a foam wreath.

thanksgiving

2011-11-28T11:56:00.001-07:00

This year we spend Thanksgiving with my dad's family in northern utah. It was so fun! We crashed at my aunt and uncle's house and it is always fun to stay with them. We really appreciated their hospitality. I made a banana cream pie and some orange rolls. Both were well received. I didn't take a picture of the orange rolls but they are super good. I need to check with my mother-in-law to make sure they aren't a super secret family recipe and then I'll post the recipe.

Dave loves them and my family, new to the tradition, LOVEs them. :) They had them at our Oregon reception and the last two Thanksgivings when I mention orange rolls they go "susan's orange rolls?!"

Our Thanksgiving dinner was so good. It was smaller than it often is up there but still a lot of fun. And so much good food. Then we went through all the ads and planned our shopping trip. It's something like a 17 year tradition to go black Friday shopping and this year, even with the stores opening super early, was no exception. And it was great! I think my feet got a little bruised from too much standing, but we got some fun stuff. Nothing for Christmas, but a few new movies, some rad slippers (for me and I love them) and these cute baby onesies from Old Navy:

Aren't they just so cute? Can't wait to use the blue striped one especially. This Thanksgiving we were/are very grateful for all the blessings we have and the good year we've had. We're especially thankful for the reason behind buying onesies!

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving...I can't believe it's almost Christmas now!

want everyone to think you are awesome?

2011-11-20T16:17:00.001-07:00

Well, if you're are handy with a hand mixer, I have just the thing for you: herb butter. I took it to a ward social where people brought bread, jam and butter. The herb butter was a hit...and I feel bad taking any credit because it was super easy. But you know, I am awesome with a mixer.

I don't have any picture except if you wanted to see an empty ramekin. It is great on rolls and I bet it would be good to make garlicy toast with in the broiler. I think I will make some to just have on hand.

PS- her recipe calls for fresh herbs and I didn't have any. So I used a tsp where it called for a tbsp and 1/2 tsp where it called for a tsp. I realize that is not the same math, but it worked.

Anyway, I would highly recommend it!

rosemary olive oil bread.

2011-11-20T16:07:00.001-07:00

On Friday I made this rosemary bread and it was so good! We ate almost all of it in one sitting, dipped in olive oil, balsamic vinegar and pepper. I think I could eat this and focaccia every day.

other delicious meals of note: wisconsin cauliflower soup, homemade refried beans, homemade fish sticks (I used salmon)

christmas music

2011-11-18T13:07:00.001-07:00

I don't really love it.

And when I say that, I mean, I can't stand most the traditional songs. Like I'd rather listen to a commercial on the radio than a song on that one station that started playing Christmas music November 1st. (like cozy? or something). and I freaking hate radio commercials.

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED. During the Christmas season of my senior year of high school I worked at a car wash that played Christmas music from sometime in November until January. I worked 3.5 hours/day during the week and most of a Saturday. Which means I. HAVE. HEARD. IT. ALL. ad nauseam.

I've heard EVERY CHRISTMAS SONG in EVERY GENRE imaginable. Pick a song. I've heard it a cappella, full orchestra, techno, gospel choir, pop, rock, hymny, small group, instrumental... EVERYTHING. and I think that did it. for days and days and days that is all I heard.

I still love Christmas hymns and non-traditional songs. Like Relient K's "let it snow baby, let it reindeer" cd or rock/pop musicians renditions of hymns.

I don't know. Do you totally hate me? Or does anyone feel the same way? Plus, I don't think Christmas music should start playing until like mid-December anyways.

here IS what I'm listening to these days:

babies!

2011-11-16T22:09:00.001-07:00

Not as in plural babies in my possession, but of two of my best friends! My dear washington DC friend, Emily and my freshman roomie Kristen (or kbob) are both expecting babies around the same time as me! Emily is two months ahead and Kristen is a couple weeks behind me. It is fun to have some of my favorite people to share this with!

So I am hesitant to overwhelm this blog with baby things (until, of course, we have a cute baby to post pictures of) because this isn't a "mommy blog" (and I don't really like that term). But this is a random assortment of things kind of blog anyways and if you don't like it you don't have to read! So, if you'll indulge me...

One fun thing is each week (or during the week) is reading all about your growing baby (I like baby center and the mayo clinic book). I am amazed all the time how smart babies are...and now how smart fetuses are!! I can't believe how fast they develop and the things they can do when they aren't even halfway done growing!! Part of this week's summary really made me proud at how smart our baby is: "Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam."

How cool is that? What a smarty-pants. Next week, hearing! I just think human development is amazing. Want to see a picture of our baby?

awe, how cute.

win-win-win

2011-11-14T15:16:00.001-07:00

On Sunday, my parents had a Thanksgiving preview meal. This was basically a Thanksgiving dinner and it was so delicious. I love Thanksgiving food. My dad requested a banana cream pie and that is what he got:

It turned out way better than I was thinking it would and I was very pleased with the result!! And, so were the rest of the people who ate it. I know a lot of people don't like bananas, but this pie only has bananas on the bottom (no banana pudding/flavoring). My mom, who hates bananas, really liked the pie. And Dave only had some because he was being a nice husband and said "actually, this is really good.". So, it was an all-around win!!

I used the Pioneer Woman's Perfect Pie Crust and it was delicious! (note: when you bake it, use pie weights/dry beans over foil!! I just poked it with a fork and the bottom puffed up and the sides shrunk (which is why you see no pie crust! it wasn't a big deal, but if you're really into the over all presentation))

I searched through a lot of internets for the filling. I wanted to make it from scratch but a lot of the blogs I read didn't have a recipe for a banana cream pie and some recipes were way too involved. I finally found this one from Crisco. I'm glad I used this one. It makes a delicious custardy filling (I think that is how you would classify it). (note: it calls for butter flavored shortening; I just had regular and I did have butter extract. but I think it would be ok without)

Then I whipped some cream for the top. YUM!

What are your thoughts on banana cream pie? I think I will be making this again for the real Thanksgiving.

on cooking.

2011-11-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

The last few months I haven't made that many things...planning menus made me feel sick (no idea why), so when I wanted to make something, I had nothing planned and no supplies. I'm not sure what we ate the last three months, but I am glad to be past that (mostly). I actually planned out all our meals for the week and I am really excited. And we've already had some great meals.

First up was potato broccoli soup with bacon. Yum!! This was really good, easy and healthy (the bacon is just a garnish). I even made my own chicken broth! (it's super easy...just throw a bunch of stuff in a pot and let it boil for an hour. AND you get to eat costco chicken. uh...yum!)

Next up was banana bread muffins. You may remember how I gave up making produce bread. Well, my lovely friend Jody gave me her mom's awesome recipe and though I didn't try making bread, it made perfect muffins. And it was soo easy:

Preheat the oven to 350. Grease an 8x4 pan (it makes 12 muffins). In a large bowl mix 11/2 + 1 TBSP flour, 3/4 tsp soda, 1 tsp baking power, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, 1/3 c. margarine (I used butter), 2/3 c. sugar, 2 eggs and 3 ripe bananas. Mix 2 minutes. (I love that you can throw everything together!) Bake 50 minutes (muffins baked for 30-35).

Thank you Jody and her mom...I have hope again for bread.

Yesterday I made these lasagna rollups. SO GOOD. It's basically like manicotti, but you just roll it in soft no-boil noodles. And Mel's "best" recipes are really the best. I also liked that it was just a cheesy filling. I have always loved cheese, but man, these days, I LOVE CHEESE.

There are some more new recipes up for this week that I'll keep you posted on. I really enjoy making things from scratch and each month I try to remember to try a few new things. Not in a super nerdy way (I don't like make goal sheets or anything :)). This month, I wanted to try making chicken broth and it was really easy! And I try to make my new skills a habit. I like the idea of eating whole, fresh, homemade foods. Eating healthy is doable and isn't as expensive as you might think! Planning meals is what really helped, but we also don't eat a lot of meat and rarely buy snack food. Cooking from scratch is almost always cheaper (though, of course, time is money and you have to factor that in too). And of course I don't make everything from scratch.

Another thing that I've gotten better at not shying away from long recipe lists. I've learned that when a recipe list is long, that usually means most of it is from scratch (as opposed to a few items including canned soup or whatever (not that that is bad, I just prefer not to use it/save money)). And, most of the ingredients are spices or things like oil, garlic and onions. If you can break it up, it's totally doable. So I realize I may say some recipes I try are easy when they have a 20 ingredient list. But, if you can group them together or even just prep the ingredients ahead of time, it is really easy.

Anyway, that's a little peak into my cooking philosophy (not that I have one, really) and why I cook what and how I do. If you're wanting some good recipe blogs, check out the ones on my sidebar. I really like our best bites, mel's kitchen cafe and (of course) the pioneer woman because most of their recipes are from scratch (or close to it). and delicious.

p.s. we're totally eating papa john's tonight (found a good coupon + I've been craving* it for weeks)...Moderation!

*my cravings are more like I see a commercial for something and think I NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. aka, it just looks dang good. other items include ARBY's roast beef and cheddar. so probably not even a real pregnancy craving...I'm just more susceptible to marketing?

pumpkins

2011-11-03T13:24:00.001-06:00

I guess I lied when I said we did nothing seasonal for Halloween. We did carve pumpkins! Dave did the rebellion symbol from star wars (...) and I had fun using his drill to make mine. We also lit them with a flashlight because only one of our tea lights would stay lit, but its light was pathetic.

halloween dinner

2011-10-31T21:47:00.000-06:00

We didn't do much for Halloween this year (no costumes, parties or seasonal activities), but I did decide it would be fun to do a little something for dinner. I am excited to do things like this (plus more) in the future for kids, but I figure I could make a few things with some dramatic flair.

up first: slime. hehe. (just our fav crystal light) idea here, via pinterest.

then we had bones & blood. haha, that sounds really gross. in fact, they were the best breadsticks ever. idea here

and the grand finale was tomato soup (more blood??) from scratch! I've been wanting to make some for a while and finally got serious about finding a recipe. I used home-grown tomatoes and basil. 5 minutes before I was going to use another recipe, I stumbled upon this recipe and will be exploring the archives on her site soon. yum. Anyways, super easy and it turned out great.

anyway, we hope you had a great halloween! we watched some netflix and ran out of candy around 8:00. For every kid that came, we would eat a piece. Luckily, we only had a few kids come around after, but I figure they will survive!

First look

2011-10-29T13:55:00.001-06:00

These are from last week. Aren't they so cute? It was crazy to have an ultrasound. It is more real now. Before it was like we believed I was pregnant and the doctor never called to say I wasn't...but to have the wand go over my stomach and boom! Baby! It was crazy. So anyway, here is baby c at 12 weeks and 5 centimeters long.

book club treats

2011-10-26T22:21:00.001-06:00

I made these mini peanut butter rice krispy treats for book club. Rice krispy treats are the easiest treat ever and I liked putting them in mini muffin wrappers. I don't think it's any more work and it is more cute. And that totally matters. And my chocolate drizzling skills.....suck. But I'm blaming the chocolate.

p.s. we read the persian pickle club. anyone ever read it? I don't think I'd ever heard of it. It was good.

bow ties

2011-10-24T12:14:00.004-06:00

I made some of these cute bow ties for a friend who is having a little boy soon. I made some for Calvin and have about...20 more ironed and folded, ready to be finished. So easy (no sewing!) and so cute!!

pumpkin pie

2011-10-21T13:21:00.002-06:00

I signed up to make a pumpkin pie for our ward halloween party tonight. I decided to try making pumpkin puree from scratch. I even found "pie pumpkins" at the store, which were little and made it easy. I used to like our blender, but it did not do well with blending the pumpkin. It didn't get it as smooth as I wanted, but oh well. It adds...texture and such, right? I think next on my want list is an awesome food processor.

I used Pioneer Woman's Pumpkin Cream Pie recipe (yum) and started with the crust:

then filled it with delicious, creamy, pumpkiny filling.

With little fleck of pumpkin. Meh, I hope that people don't find that really gross, because there is nothing I can do about it now!

also, the cream mixture heating on the stove with cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves was the best thing I've smelled in a long time. YUM!

cinco de octubre

2011-10-18T17:13:00.002-06:00

Thank you for the nice comments (both here & on facebook)! We are excited to welcome baby c on May 5th (or cinco de mayo as it will be referred to in this post). We went to our first doctor appt on October 5th and decided that is when we would start telling our family.

SIDE NOTE: when we first found out and figured out our due date (ipod app) it was May 4th.

Hello. STAR WARS DAY!!!!! We thought it was awesome. We even started preparing for such (more to come).

Then we went to the doctor and he said May 5th. I'm not sure why the small discrepancy, but whatever. I know that a due date is an approximation, and hey, having the due date be May 5th means it's probably more likely the actual birthday could be May 4th. Ok, enough about that. Things looked good and we celebrated with lunch at Kneaders (yum!!). Then we started brainstorming about ideas to tell our families (or I did, because Dave didn't really care). We decided to go with the cinco de mayo theme, especially after we realized that it was the 5th of October (Dave was on board with this though...we had fun brainstorming). So I bought some hats and mustaches and balloons and we were set to partay.

My sister, Aimee, and her boyfriend helped us set the party by wearing some mustaches and weirding out the rest of my family. haha.

Here is the birthday boy with his Mexican flag balloons. We ate dinner and one of my sisters was coming home from a practice. Aimee and Colby were like "ok well we have to go now". And I was, as calmly as possible, stressing that we should all just wait for everyone because the cake I made was so awesome that I only wanted to reveal it once. Luckily, no one found it too weird that I boxed up the cake (I usually bring cakes over in a glass cake stand) and was insisting that we all JUST WAIT TO OPEN IT. (I wasn't super calm inside..every time someone walked past the box, I just knew they'd open it).

So we did go ahead and open it missing a sister, but short of explaining why, we didn't really have a choice. So, dad opened the cake and there you go.

Later that night we chatted on video chat with Dave's parents and some siblings. Brian even had a hat to help us celebrate. Everyone else we called totally guessed it, because 1. who calls people anymore? 2. Who calls people between 8-10 and tells them to get on speaker?

Oh well, what can you do? It is hard to surprise people over the phone.

+1

2011-10-14T09:35:00.000-06:00

how do you like them apples? (or, rather, pumpkins?)

(idea from here)

blerg.

2011-10-13T09:55:00.000-06:00

I am contemplating pulling out my old pdbio text book and reading it. I am hoping it will help make up for the brain cells I've lost watching netflix as much as I have this past year (the as much will remain a mystery). I spend most of my time at home, so it's usually on as a background. Sometimes, when I don't have any work, I just end up watching a lot of TV. During the evenings, I hop on our borrowed exercise bike during an episode. I feel good about doing that, at least.

Blerg.

Speaking of blerg, I finished Tina Fey's book Bossypants and it was great. It was a funny book (she has some great stories) and I thought she had some good advice. My favorite chapter was on being photographed for magazines: "don't ever feel inadequate when you look at magazines. Just remember that every person you see on a cover has a bra and underwear hanging out a gaping hole in the back. Everyone. heidi klum, the olsen twims, david beckham, everybody."

"Do I worry about overly retouched photos giving women unrealistic expectations and body image issues? I do. I think that we will soon see a rise in anorexia in women over seventy. Because only people over seventy are fooled by Photoshop. ... People have learned how to spot it. ... as long as we know it's fake, it's no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. ... I find, the fancier the fashion magazine is, the worse the Photoshop." She then goes on to say how the best Photoshoped cover she had was for a feminist magazine. "..because they understand that it's okay to make a photo look as if you were caught on your best day in the best light."

Definitely a different take on Photoshop than my women's health class, but I like it.

Read it! (a bit o'language, if you care. After reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, however, I find I'm real good at skimming over words.)

So anyway, yesterday (when the majority of this post was written), I was not feeling too happy about things. But dave took me out for a sweet pork salad (awww...) and life seemed to get better. Reading funny books help. As do $9.00 shoes. Oh yeah, baby. (nine dollars...I'm hard-pressed to resist shoes under 10 bucks)

There is also the great possibility I will get my new phone tomorrow:

But maybe not, because as the droid-loving sales associates at the at&t store will tell you, Apple does nothing but destroy hopes and dreams.

2011-10-06T10:29:00.001-06:00

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."

Steve Jobs to Stanford grads in 2005

(thanks karren!)

the one where I almost dive into a dumpster

2011-09-28T10:09:00.004-06:00

If I ever have to spend money for work, I am reimbursed by a check that is separate from my paycheck. This last pay period, I had a pretty hefty check. It is a small check that you tear away from an envelope, so I usually deposit it the day I get it, just so it doesn't get lost.

Our carpets are getting cleaned today, so last night we cleaned up and moved furniture around, etc. We also took out a lot of trash. We had some boxes which I filled with the day's junk mail (a golf magazine, newspaper add, etc). And I'm sure you know where I'm going with this.

This morning, I'm getting ready and thinking how I need to deposit that check today and I'm like...wait, where is that check? I hope it didn't get thrown away. I go into the kitchen and check the table. No papers. Hmm, perhaps Dave moved it somewhere....??? I checked the fridge, the trash, my purse...nothing. Of course, it was probably thrown out with the junk mail.

I think that if I really lost the check, I could be sent another one. But what a bother. And well, I might as well go look at the dumpster and assess the situation. We took out the garbage at like 11:00, so chances were it was still on top. Never mind the chances that one little piece of paper could have drifted anywhere...

I take a deep breath, hold it, and open the lid. I scan for the boxes that we threw away. And what do you know?? There is a golf magazine and that check wedged between a bag and the box, in the top middle of the dumpster. The garbage didn't reach the top, but it was almost level with the side, so I could potentially reach it with no problem. Out of my standing reach, but I wouldn't have to climb in the dumpster. So. I open the lid all the way, hoist my self onto the edge and swing forward and sure enough, there's my check! I grab it and jump down..no harm done, really. It didn't even smell that bad. Surprising, because we threw out a really nasty bag of nasty produce.

It was nothing like what my mother has had to do to find one of her children's retainer (which, for the record, was not mine). Two words: school dumpster. after lunch.

Ok, so, not the most dramatic story, but hopefully none of you were pulling for me to have to climb in the dumpster OR fall in once I was balancing on the edge...lucky for me, Wymount trash isn't so bad.

Do you have any good dumpster diving stories??

you guys.

2011-09-23T16:48:00.003-06:00

I am quite excited that it's fall...which means season premieres. Perhaps I won't list all the shows I'm excited to watch....but you probably know most of them already. I am excited to watch these two new ones though:

what are the shows you're looking forward to this fall?

peaches.

2011-09-19T17:51:00.000-06:00

Not much has been going on the last week. I did get a half bushel of peaches for six dollars and did my best to use them all. We ate some, froze most of them, made some fruit leather and lost a few to mold (gross). The only downside is all of the fruit flies flying around!

I also bought this lamp at Target and I love it. It was on clearance--even better!

meals of note.

2011-09-10T15:51:00.002-06:00

mel's kitchen cafe: super bean burritos. soo filling and full of good things.

taste of homes: chicken chow mein.

our best bites: asian lettuce wraps. these are delicious and pretty easy!

mel's kitchen cafe: chocolate-mint chip ice cream sandwiches. (YUM)

happy saturday!

wind caves

2011-09-06T18:37:00.002-06:00

While we were in Idaho we went on a hike to the Wind Caves in Driggs. It wasn't too bad of a hike and it was a beautiful day. The scenery, as it usually is on a hike, was awesome. There was a waterfall that flowed out from the cave. We hiked up the steeeeeep switchbacks to the cave, explored a little in the cave and had a good time.

This was also the occasion where I peed in the woods twice. Nice, right? I think half our party had to take a side trip in the woods. All part of the adventure.

summertime

2011-09-01T07:00:00.000-06:00

I feel like we didn't do much this summer. However, once I take a look back, it wasn't as boring as I thought. We biked a lot, planted one awesome garden, read a lot of books, went to the Stadium of Fire, took some great vacations and watched the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation. (Yikes, did I just admit that on the world wide web??) I also started watching Monk and took a cake decorating class. We also made some great food, hung out with our favorite friends and had to say goodbye to two of our favorite couples.

While I loved the slower pace of summer, as always, I find myself glad to be moving on.

These pictures were taken by Dave's brother Bruce with his fancy camera. I sure married into a great family!!

I can't believe it's September already!

book list

2011-08-31T20:38:00.001-06:00

This summer I read more books than I have in a long time. More non-fiction than I have read in my entire life. I wonder if it's because I'm not in school reading textbooks, and I still want to be learning. My favorite thing to do at the library is browse the stand they have of new non-fiction and pick out a few and try them out. Here's a quick list of the books I finished this summer:

1. Better - Atul Gawande (I love his writing and stories. I loved it as much as Complications)

2. Complications - Atul Gawande (see here for my review))

3. William and Harry: Behind the Palace Walls - Katie Nicholl (eh, what can I say? It caught my eye and it was interesting. Modern history, you know.)

4. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell (I've wanted to read this for a long time. I thought it was so interesting!)

5. The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell (Same here. It was great as well.)

6. Paradox of Choice - Barry Schwartz (see here for my review)

7. If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won't) - Betty White (A great and easy read. I think it took me an hour, maybe. Just a fun, light read.)

8. In Defense of Food - Michael Pollan (I loved this book. I really agree with his line of thinking.)

9. Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (These were fun to read. Robert Downey Jr. is a perfect Holmes, as is Jude Law the perfect Watson.)

10. What Happened To Good-bye? - Sarah Dessen (another "eh, what can I say?" I love her books. She always writes things that resonate with me.)

11. The Pioneer Woman: From Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - Ree Drummond (A great read. I think she writes really well and it is a fun story.)

I'm working on a few more books (still waiting for Tina Fey's!).

Oh yeah, I also had a sewing list for the summer. Here is what I sewed from the list this summer:

1. nothing

I did sew a few onesies and bibs for gifts, but they don't count. I just haven't felt like sewing anything. Oh, I guess I did sew this tote bag, but it's nothing too spectacular!

Any good books I missed?

same changes.

2011-08-30T11:28:00.004-06:00

a few weeks ago we watched "morning glory". it was pretty good and had great music. this song in particular caught my...ear.

it's another one of those songs. one that resonates and I listen to it over and over again. just in case you thought I outgrew that. I did not.

p.s. I also am really liking this song . funny video, too!

cloudy with a chance of tomatoes, part II

2011-08-30T11:25:00.002-06:00

when we came back from vacation, our garden was bursting with tomatoes. we've gotten two large bowlfuls of tomatoes since thursday. the romas all went to pizza sauce (I made a big batch and froze it) and the large ones are for tomato sandwiches, which i love.

fresh garden tomatoes smell so good and taste much better than store tomatoes. I can never again have a summer with out a tomato plant (or 4).

calvin the great.

2011-08-28T19:35:00.001-06:00

Over vacation, Calvin learned to say my name! He calls me nana (like banana)

He has a hard time with Dave/David. He has called Dave (with prompting) deese, day, day do (thank you), pees (please) and deuce . haha! The best is when you have something he wants, and he'll trade you a few words for a treat.

He was quite the entertainment. This video is from today and you can here him say "buh bye" "nana" "doo" (dude) and see him blow a kiss.

enjoy!

yellowstone

2011-08-27T10:17:00.002-06:00

After we saw old faithful, we walked a few miles around yellowstone looking at the geysers and hot springs. They were all unique and pretty cool. In the first set of pictures, the one on the right is a picture of the paint pots, which was bubbling mud. It was the coolest thing.

In this picture you can see a silhouette AND voldemort's creepy face coming out of the steam. Do you see it??

ye olde faithful

2011-08-25T22:37:00.002-06:00

The first big thing we did on our vacation was drive to Yellowstone. Our first stop was Old Faithful. (though apparently, it's getting less "faithful" as the years go on).

It was very cool to see and quite impressive. Waiting for it to go off is how Dave got some nice calf and ankle sunburns, but hopefully it was worth it!

a curious soul.

2011-08-25T22:19:00.003-06:00

Dave and I often remark that I am a curious soul. There are many things I wish I knew more about (starting with everything). I always like to look things up I don't know or remember...I just wonder about a lot of things. I suppose this is good and keeps me learning. I am anxious for the day when I will be able to comprehend how everything works.

The Saturday before we left on vacation, Dave and I watched Calvin (our nephew) for almost the whole day. And it was so fun! We love love love watching Calvin. He's so sweet and cute, especially as he's learning more and more. As we spent the day doing different things like going out to eat with my family and going to Costco, I started wondering. My mom commented that Calvin could totally pass for our kid. And with Dave carrying him and me carrying the diaper bag, who would know? I mean, he doesn't look like either of us specifically, but close enough?

I started wondering what it is like to be a mom. I almost wanted to laugh at Costco as I thought "you know, everyone thinks we're a little family and Calvin is our kid. imagine that!". And while I love Calvin and would do things a mother would do for him, I wondered what it's like to love and do things for children as a mother.

And of course I'll find out what it means someday, but I can't help but be curious.

back from vacation.

2011-08-24T21:05:00.003-06:00

We just got back from spending a week with Dave's family in the Tetons (Idaho, near Yellowstone). It was really fun and we came back with just a few bumps and bruises, some sore muscles (amanda), some scrapes and a really sunburned legs (dave). We spent the week lounging around, visiting Yellowstone, playing games, chasing Calvin around (and letting him sit in the driver's seat, his favorite), doing some hiking and eating a ton of food. We are quite sad to return to the real world.

Stay tuned for some more posts about our vacation!

park citay.

2011-08-14T12:21:00.007-06:00

This last week we went up to Park City with my family. We shopped, swam and ate some good food. We also spent a day at Park City Resort and it was awesome!!

We rode the alpine slide, did some awesome trampoline jumping (waaaaay harder than it looks), rode down a zip-line and rode the alpine coaster. It was a great vacation and fun to spend time with my family. Next up, we're off to the tetons with Dave's family!

If you want to see a video of our day, click here. (it's a bit shaky, but most of it is action shots)

the finish line

2011-08-13T11:24:00.003-06:00

Remember Dave's big ride? Here is a video on him crossing the finish line. I was hoping to get him and Evan together, but Evan zipped ahead at the end. Also, if you want to see more pictures of Dave riding, see the professional pictures here . I know you want to buy a 20 x 30 poster print. (thanks to evan for the link)

new finds.

2011-08-08T22:14:00.004-06:00

This last weekend was pretty fun. Dave's brother Bruce and his wife Karren came to Utah for a wedding and we only got to see them for a few minutes, but it was fun to see them. They brought us some chocolate-covered sunflower seeds. I've never had them before and boy, are they good.

They are sitting on our new coffee table which I bought at Ikea for 8 bucks.

'twas a good Ikea day, that's for sure!!

meals of note

2011-08-08T22:07:00.003-06:00

here are some good things we've eaten lately:

chocolate cream pie

southwest pasta salad (soooooooooo good)

black bean soup

shrimp scampi

Anything good you've tried lately?

ULCER

2011-08-06T17:19:00.003-06:00

Today Dave and Evan (and their friend, Garrett) rode the ULCER (utah lake century epic ride) which was about 105 miles. I know, right? They are crazy.

Shanna and I went to Ikea and it was fun. I love hanging out with Calvin (and Shanna as well!) He, of course, was busy and couldn't be interviewed to tell you how fun it is to hang out with me. We hung out near the end of the race for about an hour until they rode up.

I would not look like that if I had just rode 105 miles! I'm pretty sure my legs would have fallen off and I'd be crying in pain and relief, I'm sure. Dave said he almost cried in relief, but instead gave me a big smile. I'm proud of him for signing up, training and finishing!!

more baby sets.

2011-08-05T11:03:00.004-06:00

I made some more baby sets for my grandma (to give as gifts). Oh, onesies are so cute.

another garden update.

2011-08-03T17:30:00.004-06:00

I don't know how interested you all are in our garden, but it's the most rewarding thing we've done all summer (or the only exciting thing).

first up: dahlias! I will forever love these flowers. Once I figured out it needed more water, it responded beautifully.

tomatoes: give us a few weeks and we'll have them coming out of our ears!

peppers: our pepper plants struggled. like, really struggled. no jalapenos in site, and we got three little baby peppers (I think they should have been full-sized).

We did start harvesting our cherry tomatoes. We bought a sun sugar plant because the guy at the greenhouse said it was the best. And you know, I think he was right. We weren't sure if they were ready, but it turns out they are supposed to be orange. yum.

cloudy with a chance of tomatoes

2011-07-31T15:52:00.002-06:00

This weekend, we had a quad barbecue. Dave and I were in charge of the condiments, which included hamburger toppings. We bought 16 pounds of tomatoes, and I sliced them all on Saturday, which was quite the adventure. I also sliced a few onions and 9 heads of lettuce. Our house smelled like onions all day. We ended up only eating half the condiments, so next time we'll have tone down our planning a bit. But I think that is better than not having enough!

It was a fun and sunny day and the food was great. We also went over our quad emergency plan in case of an armed shooter (which is the third biggest risk to BYU behind flood and fire, fyi). It was quite the skit.

on the balcony.

2011-07-31T15:30:00.008-06:00

our dahlia plant went on a little vacation, but has finally started blooming again. I'm glad to have flowers back. our oregano plant died (or rather, dave sort of killed it) (but I was able to freeze quite a few leaves), our basil is doing well and we threw away our pepper plant because we realized it was covered in little tiny bugs. gross. there was one little tiny pepper, but oh well. we'll try again next year. I also transplanted a cilantro starter, but it totally died.

exercising.

2011-07-28T10:06:00.004-06:00

I bought a swim suit like this a year ago (I had my mom send it to me in D.C., even) because I wanted to start swimming laps.

Well, last night I finally took the tags off and today I went and swam laps with my friend Ann. Bless her for getting me to come...because it was a great workout and even though I haven't done laps for like 10 years, it wasn't too bad. I was kind of nervous, but I'm glad I just did it.

Dave and I are still biking to our garden and up the canyon. I also went with Shanna on another ride (15 miles!).

Next week Dave will be biking 110 miles! Yikes. And while he does that, I'm planning on going to Ikea. Win win win, I think. ha!

What have you been doing this summer?

the paradox of choice

2011-07-28T09:37:00.005-06:00

Thanks to a great recommendation by my SIL Karren, I finally read The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. I am plagued with indecisiveness, but I'm getting better. Between this book and Dave's increasing annoyance with my indecisiveness AND his increasing active role in MAKING me decide...I'm off to a great start in deciding fast. The other day, I chose shampoo in like 1 minute. A RECORD.

I hope to be turning over a new leaf...because in reality, few choices really matter. And most of your day-to-day choices won't be your last bowl of ice cream, last ordered entree, last yard of fabric, last movie you'll ever watch, etc. I thought I'd just share his 11 tips on "what to do about choice", in case you are plagued with the same problem.

This book is a lot of him explaining studies and while it is very interesting, it can be a bit hard to get into. As the date I had to return to book loomed nearer, I did skip a few pages so I could get to the WHAT TO DO part. I mean, the studies and observations on human behaviors was VERY interesting (if you're into that sort of thing), but it came down to this: we have way too much to choose between, and human nature means that we totally suck at making a choice (especially when you add in more things to choose between) and being happy with it.

That being said, here's the list:

1. Choose when to choose. e.g. I will go to two stores, and that is it. (I am totally trying this next time). OR, I will always put my seat belt on, etc. Simplify your choices.

2. Be a chooser, not a picker (not sure what this meant)

3. Satisfice more, maximize less A satisficer is someone who thinks "this is good enough". e.g. I want a sweater that is pink and is less that $50. AS SOON AS I find a sweater that meets those standards , I stop looking. I don't look at just one more store to see if I can find one for $5 less. Satisficers have good standards, and they don't keep looking. FYI, satisficers are happier with their choices than maximizers because they didn't spend five hours OR all their sanity trying to find THE BEST sweater. I really like this.

4. Think about opportunity costs of opportunity costs An opportunity cost is what you give up by choosing something. I believe the author emphasizes that you should only think about the second best choice as your opportunity costs, but often there are many second choices, and no real clear "first choice". BUT, thinking about everything you are giving up makes you crazy and less satisfied. Thinking about opportunity costs is good, because it can help you figure out what really matters. But don't go overboard.

5. Make decisions irreversible When you can't go back, you choose and move on.

6. Attitude of gratitude

7. Regret less

8. Anticipate adaptation e.g. after two months, your new car won't be as cool. Realize that, and maybe don't agonize over things you may not think are worth the time/cost in a while.

9. Control expectations

10. Curtail social comparison

11. Learn to love constraints His main point, I think, is you can make yourself "rules" (only two stores, always wear seat belt, etc). Love these rules because they make your life easier.

I hope this helps those of you who take waaaay too long to decide an ice cream flavor, shampoo brand or cereal.

fishing.

2011-07-25T16:39:00.004-06:00

On Saturday, we went fishing with my family. It was fun! It was nice weather and I sat in my chair and read Harry Potter #4 in between casting a few lines. We didn't catch anything (save two logs and some slime [see above; my bait was gone, so it's like I "caught" it, right?]), but it was still fun! I often thought of this passage from one of my most favorite books*:

"When we'd get home, my mother would always say, "Catch anything?" Sometimes we had caught a few fish, but mostly we hadn't, and at those times, my father would say, "Caught the sun! Caught the day!"

My mother loved that; she loved it to pieces. She'd kiss his cheek and say, "You are a prince among men."

*Bloomability by Sharon Creech.

dusk & summer

2011-07-18T21:23:00.002-06:00

This summer has a much slower pace than last summer, and it's kind of nice. We haven't had a summer in Provo for a few years, and it's nice to be back. But slow pace means not much to post about, I guess. We ride our bikes (dave way more than me...on Saturday he rode 60 miles!), watch some of our favorite shows, play just dance, work, swim and form terrible sleep habits. oh well, it's summer. We've also said good-bye to good friends, which is too sad to write about!

I cut my hair, if you didn't notice before. I forgot how much I like short hair. it's the bomb.com.

I bought a popsicle mold set and have experimented with a few flavors. I've made strawberries and cream and creamy lemon. Delicious! I would highly recommend them.

we're pretty content, but I still day dream a little about what's next. one step at a time, as always. I'm really excited for August when we spend half of it with family in really fun places.

just dance

2011-07-14T12:59:00.003-06:00

I got this for my birthday and I'm loving it. Even though Dave always beats everyone, it's still pretty fun. It's fun to play with multiple players, so if you're up for a little dance battle, let me know (i'm thinking a christensen family battle in august? anybody? anybody?). Just ask the mangums. It's pretty fun.

Even if Dave always wins with his technically perfect moves while I'm dancing my heart out.

gaaah.

i must admit i'm looking forward to it.

2011-07-12T16:26:00.008-06:00

I think how everyone feels tonight is how I felt 4 years ago.

I'm not attached at all the the movies; my feelings for movies 1-5 range from good to ugh to meh. I admit the sixth movie was pretty good and I actually liked 7.1. With except of maybe 6-7.2, the first is the best ONLY because the book was so short, they could fit most things in.

I think the actors (for the most part) are exactly as I pictured, but the world itself and the magic is not (for the most part). I know it's unreasonable to expect them to create something that is in my head, which is why I just accept the movies for what they are and move on.

Mostly, it's hard to watch a movie and think "that is not what he said; that is not what she said; she actually said "..."; that happened later; that is totally not how it happened; they are missing this, etc" during the whole movie.

Which is why I don't feel that my childhood is ending tomorrow, because I remember it ending in July of 2007 when I waited in line at midnight for the 7th book dressed as a witch from Ravenclaw and that next afternoon as, with tears in my eyes*, I closed the 7th book for the first time. Later, when Katie slept over and we dissected/gushed about it for at least an hour (heh).

I'm glad the last movie is finally here, and, as my favorite story of all time, I'm looking forward to seeing the movie and how it ends. I'm even seeing it at midnight.

I realize I fall into a small minority...but thoughts?

*I know, right? I still cry reading books 4-7...even though I totally know what happens and I've read it many times before. Her writing, I tell you.

fourth of july weekend

2011-07-10T22:03:00.002-06:00

a little late, but last weekend I made some Capitol sugar cookies (we got them at hill's kitchen in d.c). I think I shall make this a tradition. I mean, when could it be more applicable??

On Monday, we had some fireworks at my grandparent's house. Dave and Alisa were in an epic battle. Then their sparklers went out. I shouted "nox" every time that happened.

it's amazing what a bit of sun will do.

2011-07-06T21:30:00.005-06:00

this weeks harvest: a bowl of spinach and romaine, some teeny carrots (we were just thinning them; they should look much better later) and one strawberry.

our garden looks really good these days. here is our spinach plants, strawberry plant, and our little pepper plant (with a few tiny peppers!). even our marigolds are looking good!

here's our lettuce, tomatoes (our plants are getting so big and we have a few little green tomatoes) and carrots on the top right.

I love having a garden. I bet it is even better when it's right outside your house (or maybe not?) and you can see the fruits of your labors everyday. I guess if it was right outside, we'd feel inclined to water it more and weed it more...this is a good start to gardening. I can't wait to have a bigger space to grow more things! Every time we go there, I'm excited to see how it has grown.

And by labors, I mean the 8 mile bike ride.

lumos

2011-07-05T11:53:00.002-06:00

Also, I LOVED that there were so many fireworks this weekend. My parents live on a hill, so we could see pretty much all the fireworks around. It was one long fireworks show and it was awesome. My grandparents bought a few of the 100 ft ones and it was awesome to be right under them! I was grinning ear to ear because they are so cool.

It's like magic, and I love it.

the overuse of the word awesome because that is just what it was.

2011-07-05T11:24:00.003-06:00

Dave and I went to the Stadium of Fire with my dad and two of my sisters. It was so fun.

The opening involved parachutists landing in the middle of the stadium and it was awesome. I know this may sound silly, but it was so moving to see the last one flying down the American flag. It was an awesome sight. The flag was brought back from the Middle East by Utah servicemen, who did a flyover after the parachutists.

Then the whole audience stood as the flag was raised and we recited the pledge. Then David Archuleta sang the national anthem. It was such a great opening. I think the reason why the 4th is my favorite is because patriotism really brings everyone together. I mean, I know that everyone is happy at Christmas and Thanksgiving, but there is a together-ness I feel at the 4th that is unique and I love it.

They had these fun beach balls for the audience to bounce around during the opening dance number.

Then the main events: David Archuleta and Brad Paisley! They were so good live. They sang great songs and I loved it. I love live music and this was a great concert.

Then the fireworks! I have never seen better fireworks, I swear. I sat there grinning like a kid because they were so awesome! Timed to the music and just AWESOME. I'll post some videos later.

These flames were so hot, we felt like we were standing right next to them, instead of 150 yards away.

The finale of the fireworks show was so INCREDIBLE. They had these fireworks that boomed so loudly, it felt like the stadium was going to fall apart. I've never felt anything like it before...the whole audience gasped...and then it was over and we just erupted with cheers. It was so awesome!

we love the USA!!

it's decided

2011-07-03T23:22:00.002-06:00

I have decided that the fourth of july is my favorite holiday.

it's summertime and everyone seems to be in a great mood. I think patriotism is a great feeling.

also, the firework show at the stadium of fire was the coolest thing I've EVER seen.

(more to follow on that)

I kinda wish we were spending the fourth in D.C., but our weekend so far has been fabulous. and not quite so hot, which is nice.

happy fourth!

creme brulee

2011-06-29T21:52:00.003-06:00

Last week Em and I made some creme brulee (thanks to my grandma for the set!) and it turned out quite yummy. It was a bit runny, but you can't really go wrong with cream and sugar...

I look forward to perfecting my creme brulee in the future*

We put a few ramekins in the fridge and the next day one made a very classy birthday cake.

*ps aluminum pans+hard water+heat= pan that you can clearly see the outline of the ramkins because the rest of pan is blackish. use a steel pan, perhaps.

cheeese.

2011-06-29T11:00:00.003-06:00

Calvin is actually pretty happy most of the times we see him. Shanna and I went for a bike ride this morning and Calvin was in a great mood. He also doesn't stay still for very long.

Major props to Shanna for riding her bike with Calvin in a bike trailer...I followed behind and her speed was about where I wanted to be...

the basics.

2011-06-28T13:50:00.005-06:00

A few friends and I just finished a cake decorating class and it was fun!

I don't think I want to make a cake for another 5 years or so, but it was fun to learn how to do some new things.

stars:

huge tips. this wasn't really part of the class but we did a little with them. And now I have them, so they are my favorite way to decorate.

shaggy mum and droopy leaf; this was a bad frosting day.

final class: roses (which I later scraped off because I thought they were ugly and ill-placed), cool dot border, little rosettes and ugly piping.

I still graduated, if you can believe it. It was fun and hopefully I'll use some of my new skills in the future. That is the point, isn't it??

and most of these pics are from photobooth or a phone (the clear ones are from jody's iphone).

mom practice

2011-06-27T09:07:00.003-06:00

Last week I took Calvin to 7 peaks. It has been really fun living so close to Calvin. I'm a little bummed to think that we probably won't get to see our future nieces and nephews this much, and our kids may not get to hang out with their cool aunts and uncles so often. But I remain hopeful.

Anyway, we had a pretty good time. It may not look like it because Calvin rubbed sunscreen into his eye and I think it was a little too bright and busy for him, but once we found him a turning wheel (you know, those plastic ones on playgrounds?), he was laughing and splashing away.

I mean, just look at that face!

We saw him again that evening at dave and evan's ultimate frisbee game and he was happy (and again, you couldn't tell from the photos taken by the fabulous emily). I aided him in spilling water all over himself and the blanket. He wanted me to pour water into the water bottle lid, he would try to take a sip and then dump it back into the bottle. Hmm. yummy.

more than you needed to know about my cake-making experience.

2011-06-21T12:21:00.004-06:00

This weekend I made my sister a birthday cake (who is, by the way, sixteen today. happy birthday, dude). (and dude, I can't believe she's sixteen).

She had one request: "a harry potter cake". Well, most the good harry potter cakes are made with fondant and a lot of talent. So....I had a vision. A layered gold and scarlet cake with gold frosting and banner that said "alisa for president" on top. You with me so far? Anyway, she likes chocolate cake so I decided to try making a red velvet cake and frost it gold. Then I decided to pipe the harry potter logo on top.

first up: red velvet batter. beautiful, right?

Next up: a perfect cake!! I was so happy. Then the second cake totally stuck to the pan and was a big mess. Dave was nice and fixed it by piecing the pieces together right on the pedestal.

Next is the part where I ended up with pink frosting. Well, we added a ton of red and blue and green food coloring...and eventually got a color that could pass as maroon/some sort of scarlet. It did darken once I frosted it. Why wasn't it gold? I figured the logo was gold, so the frosting should match the cake. bahhaha. NOTE TO SELF: stick to pastel frosting colors.

BUT please note the lovely and perfectly round flat cake.

Then I free-handed the logo . Why does it look like I frosted a bologna cake with mustard? Don't ask, because I have no idea.

And, by the way, the cake was really good! I would recommend it!

Eh, things always look better in your head. Next time, though. next time.

cake decorating

2011-06-16T11:34:00.004-06:00

I am taking a cake decorating class with a few friends. It has been pretty fun so far. I mean, it's nothing super hard, but it is nice to have time set aside to practice, etc. In this week's class we practiced putting a cake together (I know, hard, right?) (though I did learn a cool technique for filling a cake), frosting it (and I did wonderfully. notice the cake crumbs spread through out the frosting) AND how to do pipping gel transfer. That was a new skill I learned and it is pretty awesome. It makes it easy to decorate cakes with a cool design.

Even with the speckled frosting, this was one of my better cakes. Don't get me wrong, both layers totally fell in the middle (grr). BUT the frosting I used was great (I just didn't use two inches like most fancy cakes, hence the crumbs) and I'll have to try again. I have the whole world of tip design open to me. Well, after I learn how to do roses during weeks 3 & 4. Then I'll be all set.

We didn't learn how to do these, but the kit came with a 1M star tip (which is awesome) which makes these fabulously easy roses and cute...dollops (for lack of a better word). Fancy stars, etc. I don't know. I made these for our little baby shower.

p.s. I used this cake recipe and got nothing but good reviews.

baby set

2011-06-15T10:57:00.002-06:00

I made this little baby set for a friend/coworker of mine who is having a little girl soon. She is moving soon and will be missed!!

Every time I make those little onesies I can't believe how little babies are and then I think how I really need one of those little babies.

stuffed peppas.

2011-06-10T11:11:00.003-06:00

we made these stuffed peppers yesterday. they were really good! packed with veggies (and pepper jack cheese, need I say more?), full of flavor and suuuper filling. I could only eat one. I just made three and we kept the rest of the filling to eat with chips, but I think it could have filled 8 medium peppers.

totes*

2011-06-09T10:57:00.003-06:00

I made myself a striped tote yesterday. (I was jealous of katie's cool penn chemistry one!)

I'm surprised as anyone that it turned out. I used another bag as a template and just went for it. The strips are a little mismatched (which I was kind of going for) and I love it.

As always, you can't look too close because I'm an impatient sewer BUT it is quite symmetrical/even so I'm super proud of it anyway.

*watch this. it's hilarious. then this.